Tuesday, March 3, 2009

train wreck

Sometimes I fill my head with a cacophony of idiocy: videos of creationists on lead vocals, MTV's "reality" shows on the lead guitar, Girl Talk playing as the rhythm, and the mutterings of the people I live with bleeding through the walls like a dense beat behind it all. Maybe I think I can glean some sort of knowledge from all this noise, like I am Veidt, suddenly coming to the crashing conclusion that the only way to save the world is by destroying a large part of it. Of course, with the trash I am filling my head with, I only get half way to that conclusion.

I do believe a large part of the world should be destroyed.

So does this make me a sadist? Probably not. Just a glutton for punishment. My opinions are edified whenever they meet an opposing force, so I love hearing people who I disagree with. I love mentally ripping apart their arguments like I am a reverse surgeon engineering death, making microscopic cuts with my scalpel, all eyes desperately waiting for the heart monitor to go long. So maybe a bit sadistic.

I also think anti-social would be a good descriptor, although the connotation doesn't fit. I am great a social interaction. I can meld opinions and bend ideas and all sorts of awesome things like that. But even though American society fits me like a glove, I hate it. I hate the fakeness and the lies and the deceptions and most of all that "you-are-not-good-enough-you-won't-be-happy-untill-you-have-all-these-things" mentality. That capitalist mindset. I don't know what sort of society would be better than capitalist, but I know that I hate it.

Anyway, I think my rotten mood is because Meghan doesn't have her cell phone. And since she doesn't I can't talk to her, and since I can't talk to her I feel cut off to the one person who keeps me from going bat-shit crazy all the time. I miss her and love her and it is in a desperate pathetic way. And I don't care about that.

So...yeah...my name is Mat and I am a sadistic pathetic anti-social. Oooh! ooh! And I don't believe in God! But I can get there later. Now I am going to try to make a picture worthy of the awesomeness which is this blog's address.

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