Sunday, September 6, 2009

To the Anti-Choice Group Which Decided To Kick Off It's Shindig On My Birthday

(I posted the following on their blog, but I doubt it will pass moderation)


First of all, your archaic sexist anti-rights organization is starting it's campaign on my birthday. That is bad enough, but petty, and I realize that. However, I thought I would lead off with the least crucial of my points, as I am 99% sure this post will be deleted soon anyway, I figured at the very least you would hear something that a million other rational voices aren't telling you.

Second, you are men. Men shouldn't be pro-life, because men don't have babies. Your reproductive and physical choices are all up to you. If you have a growth you want removed, no one can stop you. If you want to get your tubes snipped, this is your right. No one will stop you. So you shouldn't be involved in legislation which affects women. And I know you will counter with the fact that you are "fighting for the unborn." Strangely enough, I don't remember them ever asking you to do that.

Thirdly, you are obviously a Christian organization, and yet I noticed you are not spending all your time helping out widows and orphans. You aren't in fact following numerous Biblical mandates. The following bible verses are New Testament quotes you are ignoring:

1Timothy 2:11 Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.
12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.

Matthew 5:38 Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.
39 But I say to you, That ye resist not evil: but whoever shall strike thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.
40 And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloke also.
41 And whoever shall constrain thee to go one mile, go with him two.
42 Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee, turn not thou away.

Luke 14:12 Then said he also to him that invited him, When thou makest a dinner or a supper, call not thy friends, nor thy brethren, neither thy kinsmen, nor thy rich neighbors; lest they also invite thee again, and a recompense be made thee.
13 But when thou makest a feast, call the poor, the maimed, the lame, and the blind:
14 And thou shalt be blessed: for they cannot recompense thee: for thou shalt be recompensed at the resurrection of the just.

Luke 14:33 So likewise, whoever he is of you that forsaketh not all that he hath, he cannot be my disciple.

Matthew 19:21 Jesus said to him, `If thou dost will to be perfect, go away, sell what thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven, and come, follow me.'

James 1 27Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.

So, if you guys are going to follow those verses, I commend you. Although I do expect this website to go down since you have to sell all your money to give to the poor. And I am now, formally requesting your cloaks and a thousand bucks. I will give you an address later where you can send them.

On a related note, here are the bible verses mentioning pro-life issues:


Moving on, my final point is this. Whatever you believe the Bible to say, whatever you think it says about life and all that, you are hurting people right now. There are people who need health care and you are taking one point of this bill and running with it. You are refusing to allow people to learn about sex in schools, refusing to allow people to have birth control and condoms, calling abortionists murderers and directly influencing all these insane actual murderers out there who shot up guys WALKING OUT OF CHURCH: all in the name of the prince of peace? Seriously, if you took your Bible and your religion seriously, you would keep your rosaries off of women's ovaries and go out there to help the hurting, curtail unwanted pregnancies, and take care of the widows and orphans.

I think you'd make God proud.

Everyone is Stupid

I think I have come down the root cause of our current economic troubles / world issues / societal problems. Everyone in the world is retarded. With the possible exceptions of Noam Chomsky, Lex Luthor, and whoever invented the McRib, everyone is waste of space. Everyone else could be replaced by an adorable kitten and the world would most definitely be a much better place.

I have recently traversed the United States, traveling over three thousand miles with my favorite person, and realized that the whole country has gone to shit. Now I know I am only 22 (although I turn 23 on the 23rd so here comes my golden year) but I am pretty sure I have enough experience to realize we are a failed experiment. Do you ever think about the first ape-like ancestors coming down out of the trees a hundred thousand years ago and wonder, "Where the fuck were the sabretooth tigers that day?" They could have gotten rid of all of us, gotten a filling lunch, and we never would have inflicted Dashboard Confessional on the collective conciousness of the universe. Or, if you are religious, do you not wonder, between extended periods of not thinking, why God didn't look at the millionth person to maim a child and think, "Well, screw these guys," and use his equivelant of Omnislash to lay waste to all of us mouth-breathing takers?

I guess what has actually been getting under my skin is the sense of entitlement that we all have. We are just living things, created from carbon, just like the animals and the trees, but we refuse to acknowledge that. Beyond that, most of us refuse to acknowledge that other humans of different skin-tone or nationality are actually deserving of the same dignity as ourselves. I saw a quote in the paper the other day where the Prime Minister of Britian was talking about upping the military prescense in Afghanistan since they were "still a threat to freedom." Really? Those guys thousands of miles away using cold-war era planes which don't work in the rain are a threat to Britian? Ok.... And America uses over fifty percent of our budget on either new military conquests or maintaining troops throughout the world, yet we wouldn't dare allow another country to do the same. At the same time, we are now in the middle of a raging debate which mostly centers around us not having enough money to help people survive, feed people, or curtail our rape and pillage of our planet. It's like standing in the middle of a burning down house but saying you can't afford water to put it out because you have to spend the money on guns to rob your neighbor.

Atop that, the job market is promising. Everyone has leapt balls first into the technological revolution with no idea of how to actually use the technology. I have attempted to get an application for a local grocery store, Fred Meyer (which I already hate because of the dumbass name). But the store has not paper applications, however, they thankfully gave me a phone number to call. The phone number also wouldn't let me apply, not would it let me talk to a human, but an automated voice did let me know that there were multiple positions available at the store I was wanting and that I must apply online. So I get online, which tells me there are no positions available, there is no way for me to just leave a resume with them, but I can inquire within the store.... and we wonder why all our jobs are going overseas. Maybe because John Q. Chinese doesn't suck at his job.

I've also tried Blockbuster, where I thought my casual knowledge of movies would be helpful. Apparently not. Besides the fact that I am pretty sure there is a 200 pound weight minimum to work there, knowing anything about actual movies is apparently not encouraged. The dumb bitch working behind the counter didn't know who Terry Gilliam or Christopher Nolan or Batman were, and didn't understand my indignation at Eternal Sunshine being in the comedy section. In fact, things have gotten so desperate that Meghan and I are attempting to apply at local Starbucks (of which there are a million). However, online, when I attempted to click location, instead of giving me a list of states, it supplied me with a list of EVERY FUCKING COUNTRY IN THE WORLD, which was as specific as I could get. I sent in my application to be part of Research and Development in Afghanistan.

I am so going to threaten Britian's freedom.